The Agony & Ecstasy of Soulmate Love

katz kiss

Artwork by www.sharronkatz.com

Soulmate couples have a secret they rarely speak about: they feel fortunate to no longer have to search for true love because they are living it every day. They realize how blessed they are to be spending their days in the embrace of their best friend, lover, and sacred partner. Rather than brag, or shout it from the rooftops, they quietly relish their relationship and give thanks, from a deep place of gratitude, that they have another day to spend together. Soulmate love heals people while it stamps out loneliness and brings so much more happiness.

How do I know this? During the past 17 years with my soulmate, Brian, we often talk about how blessed we are to be together and experience a relationship that exceeds our wildest dreams.   I also began quietly asking the other soulmate couples we know what life is like for them. The answers I’ve heard are remarkably similar. In whispered and hushed tones, they have shared with me the wonders and beauty of their marriages. Why have we been whispering? For two reasons: we are in awe of the sacredness of the union and because as my friend Monte Farber (co-author of The Soulmate Path) says “it’s not polite to rub in other people’s faces how wonderful life can be when you are sharing it with your soulmate.”

Soulmate relationships can be compelling, intense, loving communions that have a divine quality to them. They are about connecting on a deep “soul” level as much as every other dimension of human interaction. The soulmate couples we’ve met choose to live with honesty, transparency, deeper love, devotion, openness, vulnerability and trust. My husband, Brian Hilliard, explains it this way: “In a soulmate relationship one plus one does not equal two, it equals eleven. The love generated in this equation is a gift to the soulmate couple and to the world at large.”

“The level of trust between soulmates is profound– and being able to trust another being on so many levels makes life so much easier.  You soulmate will mirror your best parts and your shadow self, giving you a chance to heal,” explains Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway, author of Your Interfaith Wedding.

This is why the world needs soulmate couples to find each other—as many as possible, and as soon as possible. It is a surefire way to fill our planet with more love.

I asked some soulmates I know to share their bliss:

“I am experiencing a “full contentment” I have never known. A relationship such as this does not happen TO someone, it happens WITH someone who is truly willing to cross the terror barrier of self-disclosure again and again to find that place of true connection.” –Mary Morrissey, author of Building Your Field of Dreams

“There is a total and utter richness that exists in being with ones’ soulmate. It is utopia.” –Carla Picardi

“Being a soulmate couple is a divine dance of both witnessing and being witnessed, celebrating and being celebrated. It’s that deep spiritual connection, unwavering acceptance and knowing that someone is always there to cover your back and will be with you no matter how bad a day you’re having.” –Jay Vogt and Stephanie Bennett Vogt, author of Your Spacious Self: Clear Your Clutter and Discover Who You Are

“Even when Vic and I are apart, I am totally relaxed in knowing that his love and devotion surround me and protect me. That kinds of love instills great confidence and it truly is a blessing.” –Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway, wedding officiant and author of Your Interfaith Wedding

“Everything tastes better when you share it with your soulmate.” –Carlos Santana

“The soulmate relationship is both the most gratifying and the most challenging of all relationships. It’s all good and for the highest good.  It’s the evolution of the individual and collective soul of lovers once separated and now united.  It’s cosmic completion! –Rev. Victor Fuhrman, co-author of Pet Prayers and Blessings

Are soulmate relationships always blissful? No, of course not. Soulmates have work to do in the world and it begins in their own relationships. Like all relationships, soulmate unions require time, energy, and attention. As Otto and Susie Collins so eloquently put it, “they require conscious effort to keep the relationship vibrant, alive and juicy.”

Despite the occasional upset, argument or breakdown, soulmates are committed to working through the issues with honesty and transparency, knowing that the foundation for their love is strong enough to weather the storm. Perhaps Stephanie Bennett Vogt explains it best, “Having a soulmate is a beautiful dance towards wholeness if you’re willing to allow and learn from the inevitable messy bumps that go with the territory of being in a relationship.”

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

7 Steps to have MORE LOVE in your life in 2015

Love is quite simply the most precious possession in existence. And my mission is to share the best insights I know to bring more love into each of your lives. Today, dear reader, I want to share the most powerful way to create MORE LOVE in your life in 2015.

This beautiful insight comes from my friend Ken Page’s game-changing new best seller Deeper Dating: How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy

If you want more love in 2015, try this life-changing exercise from Ken:

Think about all the people you know, from your nearest and dearest to people you may not have thought about for years. And just ask yourself these three questions:

  • Who truly loves me?
  • Who sees and treasures me for who I really am?
  • Whom do I trust to have my best interests at heart?

Each of the people you picked is gold. They are your personal dream-team in life. The very wisest path to love is to nurture these relationships–by doing three things:

Practice giving more to each one of these precious people.

Practice asking for more from each of them as well (yes, it’s true, asking for more is an act of intimacy!)

And most of all: enjoy them. This last suggestion is perhaps the greatest act of life wisdom that I know.

Follow these 3 steps and watch 2015 blossom into the most love-filled year of your life.

In Deeper Dating, Ken teaches “micro-meditations;” small practices that take less than three minutes but have the power to enrich your entire intimacy journey. This micro-meditation can be your foundation for a love-filled 2015.

Micro-Meditation: The Love that’s Already Yours

Pick the person who stood out for you most as you reflected on your relationships.  Now try the following:

Think about what you love most about this person.

Think about the quality of this person’s love for you.

Remember one time that you deeply felt the bond between the two of you.

Hold this person to your heart for a moment, and say “Thank you.”

And now, just let your love quietly ripple through you.

Practice this micro-meditation as many times as you wish, and just watch as your reservoir of love deepens and widens, day after day.

And I promise you, it will. Your heart will become warmer, your life will become richer, and you’ll start meeting new people who also love you for who you are.

 

Deeper Dating is a life-changing book, written for single people but deeply relevant to absolutely everyone who wants more love in his or her life. You can  order it here, and when you do you’ll also get a whole collection of free gifts, including a very special bonus from me.

Here’s what I have to say about Deeper Dating-right on its back cover:

“If you are ready for big, heart-opening, lasting romantic love, this workshop in a book offers the proven step-by-step process. Highly recommended.”

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Heaven Can Help You!

I have a FREE teleseminar coming up that I can’t wait to tell you about….especially if you have you ever wondered what really happens once we leave our physical body and our soul enters the world beyond this one!

Many books describe the near-death experience; our spirits go through as a “tunnel of light,” and they feel an unconditional love beautiful beyond description, and then a higher being or angel tells the soul it’s not your time, you must go back.

What if we could hear from a soul who didn’t come back?

What if we could take a journey into the deepest realms of the afterlife? Who are we with? What are we doing?  What is love like on the other side?

My friend, Annie Kagan, is the author of the international bestselling book, The Afterlife of Billy Fingers: How My Bad Boy Brother Proved To Me There’s Life After Death.

This book tells the true story of how Annie’s brother Billy took her on a real-time journey into the mysteries of life after death and the nature of Divine Love.

I recently wrote a new book, Love On The Other Side: Heavenly Help for Love and Life (get it for free at www.loveontheotherside.com ). After my sister’s transition, she began communicating with me about how to ask your departed loves one for assistance and also shared what love in heaven is all about. In this book I reveal what I’ve learned from Debbie and it also contains compelling true stories about what happens when one half of a soulmate couple dies and how the love connection continues in the afterlife.

Annie and I are teaming up for a one-time only free hour-long teleseminar to discuss these juicy topics and answer your questions.

Please join us on Saturday, January 3rd at 9:00amPT/Noon ET by registering here.

If you can’t make the LIVE call, we will be sending everyone who registers the replay link within 48 hours.

(We have room for 1,000 participants, if you don’t make it onto the live call, don’t worry, you will get the replay link.)

 

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Feel More Love, Have More Pleasure NOW

Whether your single or blissfully in a relationship, or somewhere in between, there is always room in life for more love and more pleasure. Activating and creating more loving and pleasurable feelings is something we can take steps to create.

Here’s how:

When you want to feel more love you can consciously do it by actively releasing the hormone oxytocin into your brain. Known as the “bonding” chemical, oxytocin is really good for you. According to love master Dr. John Gray, women need to constantly rebuild their “oxytocin” levels. Oxytocin is the bonding hormone essential for women in their ability to give and receive love.

Taking time for mani-pedi’s, getting your hair done, receiving massages, taking long, warm bubble baths, listening to music, dancing, walking in nature, a quiet cup of tea, a perfect piece of chocolate (or your favorite treat)….these are a few ways to add pleasure to your daily life that also rebuild oxytocin.

Oxytocin can be generated lots of ways and the more you have the better you will feel. Not surprisingly, it plays a big role in producing orgasms.

Stress is one of the main reasons we become depleted in oxytocin so taking simple steps to rebuild it is necessary to maintain a happy, healthy lifestyle.

It’s well known that a simple hug, gazing into the eyes of someone you care about or petting your dog or cat will also boost your oxytocin level. And, going shopping also does the trick. Even if you don’t buy anything, just looking and touching beautiful items makes a difference.

There is a tremendous amount of new research out that proves the importance of having pleasure in our lives. When we are relaxed and in the flow, it’s a zillion times easier to access (and send out) our positive emotions.

Another benefit of high oxytocin levels includes keeping your weight down.
Researchers have observed that oxytocin and oxytocin rec

eptor-deficient mice become obese later in life – and with normal food intake. Scientists who have given oxytocin-deficient obese mice oxytocin infusions, saw their weight return back to normal levels. The mice also showed a reduced glucose intolerance and insulin resistance. This clearly suggests an alternative option for those struggling to keep the weight off.

My personal “pleasure recipe” includes a daily bath with aromatherapy, an early morning walk with my husband, and one-on-one time with my cat Felix. If I have a particularly stressful day, I have a special CD of favorite dance tunes that I crank up in my office and I dance and sing (all by myself) until I feel the endorphins surging through me.

If consciously adding pleasure to your daily life doesn’t come naturally to you, I would suggest a little experiment: For the next 7 days, decide to add at least 15-20 minutes of pleasure…all for you. By taking the time to add pleasure to your life you will be calmer, happier, and more receptive to enjoying and attracting love at every level.

And, as you create your To-Do list, put YOU on the top of that list, then let me know what happens!

Remember what you put your attention on grows. Add more pleasure and oxytocin to your brain and your life to add more love on every level.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

 

Proof that there is LOVE for you!

The #1 key to success when manifesting anything is knowing and trusting that what you desire is really possible for you!

And…sometimes we need to really search for signs, symbols or proof that what we desire is in our realm of possibility.

For those of you stuck in “doubt” that big, juicy, awesome soulmate love can be yours, let me rock your world!

We recently went to see the film, The Theory of Everything about the life of physicist Stephen Hawking who is a former Professor of Mathematics at the University of Cambridge and the mega bestselling author of A Brief History of Time.

In 1963, Hawking contracted motor neurone disease and was given two years to live. Despite all odds, he went on to become regarded as one of the most brilliant theoretical physicists since Albert Einstein.

For the past 50 years he has lived in a wheelchair as a quadriplegic. He cannot do anything for himself except think brilliant thoughts and speak through a computerized system.

In spite of what most people would consider insurmountable challenges and limitations, Hawking has had not one but two great loves in his life.

What belief, myth, or story are you holding onto that says you can’t have great love?

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Baby Steps To Love

When I am in major manifestation mode, I often like to take something that looks super big (and potentially unattainable) and break it down into 5 simple, easy things I can do every day that will bring me closer to my goal.Some times, it’s the same 5 things each day, other times I get really creative and do new and different baby steps each day.

What is useful and necessary to achieving your desired outcome, is being willing to take daily action…especially on the days when you just don’t want to!

We all know that you can’t get into shape by simply sitting on the couch watching TV. We have to get up and move our bodies.

It’s about discipline and commitment.

And, it sends a strong message to the Universe that you are open, willing and available for your dream to come true.

Here are a few suggestions of daily practices to use for manifesting a soulmate:

  • Say a daily prayer of gratitude**Talk to your soulmate – even though you haven’t met them yet in the 3D world, on the unseen planes you are already connected.
  • Spend 20-30 minutes with online dating – be visible in the great dating shopping malls of match.com or eHarmony.com
  • Practice flirting. Compliment at least 3 people everyday to start a conversation with a stranger. You are not looking to pick them up, but simply build flirting muscles!
  • Go somewhere new. Try a different coffee shop, a new path to go for a walk with your dog. Get out there – explore!
  • Ask at least one person you know if they can fix you up on a date!
  • Find a buddy to share this process with and then commit to daily or weekly check in sessions.
  • Remember, what we put our attention on grows!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Love Is NOT What You Want

Neale Donald Walsch, author of the magnificent Conversations with Godseries and one of my favorite people on the planet, often sends out an inspirational message, here is a recent one I thought was especially profound:

On this day of your life, Arielle, I believe God wants you to know…

that love is not what you want, it is what you are. It is very important to not get these two confused.

If you think that love is what you want, you will go searching for it all over the place. If you think love is what you are, you will go sharing it all over the place.
The second approach will cause you to find what the searching will never reveal.

Yet you cannot give love in order to get it. Doing that is as much as saying you do not now have it. And that statement will, of course, be your reality.
No, you must give love because you have it to give.
In this will you experience your own possession of it.

For those of you who continue to have doubts that you deserve to have a soulmate, this message is a reminder to take time each day to remember and experience the love that you are.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

P.S. To access a free interview with Neale on how to end the struggle with making life work, please visit this HERE

Full Moon Love Ritual

Rituals help awaken our spiritual self and help us to connect with our inner core, other people, nature, and everything in our world. At its core, a ritual helps us acknowledge the important moments in our life and to give these moments meaning.

Here’s a full moon love manifestation ritual to use the energies of the full moon (coming up on Thursday, November 6th). Known as the Beaver Moon, this full moon is often associated with the Hindu goddess Lakshmi who brings to us love, beauty and wealth.

To begin, I would suggest that you take a Love Bath an hour or two before the moonrise.

Surround your tub with pink or red candles and some roses.

Add a little rose oil and if you wish you can also add a few drops of:

  • Ylang Ylang – to balance your male & female energies.
  • Sandalwood -great for attracting love.
  • Jasmine – said to be a favorite of Cleopatra’s and very seductive.
  • Soak in the tub while focusing your attention on your heart and imagining the joy and fulfillment of being in the arms of your soulmate.

Then, go to the most romantic place in nature you can get to – a place that you want to someday take your soulmate to.

Plan to be there just before the moonrise time.

Bring a crystal, charm, or piece of jewelry with you to hold in your hand to charge with these full moon energies. Once charged, you can place this on your altar.

Also bring a blanket or pillow to sit on (ideally pink or red) andbring a favorite celebratory beverage and a champagne flute.

You will need a journal, a container of sea salt and a bell (if you have one).

Find a comfortable place to sit and before you sit, place your blanket or pillow on the ground and then make a wide circle around it with sea salt, then sit down.

Ground yourself by imagining your energies connecting deeply with the earth.

Write in your journal what you are most grateful for about the life you now lead, and what you are grateful for that is soon to come with the arrival of your soulmate. Then close your eyes and say a prayer of gratitude and meditate for awhile.

When you are ready, open your eyes and gaze at the moon, drawing the energy and the light of the moon into your body, mind, spirit and heart.

When you are done, pour your drink and raise a toast to your soulmate and tell him or her (in your mind) that the cosmic welcome mat is now out and you look forward to meeting them on the physical plane in the near future.

If you brought a bell, now is the time to ring it!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Stuck In An Elevator with Oprah

what if I got stuck in an elevator with Oprah for 10 minutesI have a crazy imagination! Yesterday on my daily walk, I was thinking about “what if I got stuck in an elevator with Oprah for 10 minutes…what would I want to talk to her about?”

All kinds of things went through my mind, from telling her about my books and workshops (hint, hint, put me on your show) to “what’s life with Steadman really like?” “Is he your soulmate?”

As I kept pondering this, I went back to some communications training I did 30 years ago where we were taught that the first thing to do when you meet someone new (yes, I’ve met Oprah before when I was a publicist, backstage at her show, but I don’t expect her to remember me), is to get into “rapport.”

Rapport, meaning to have this person feel comfortable around you. Not in any kind of manipulative NLP way where I am going to try and sell you something, but rather in a human to human, heart to heart kind of way.

I think I would most likely tell her how much I enjoy reading about her love of her dogs and engage her in a conversation about our spiritual connection to our pets. Maybe I would even share with her that my favorite meditation is with Felix, my twenty-pound tuxedo cat. Felix and I have a daily ritual where we stare deep into each other’s eyes for several minutes and I can feel him pouring love into my soul.

In a very short amount of time, Oprah would learn two very important things about me – I love animals and I am interested in spirituality.

For those of you who are dating and meeting new people, I

know those first conversations can be awkward and difficult, so it might be wise to think about a few  openers or conversation starters you can use that will put you and your date, at ease.

Here are a few examples:

If you are a “foodie” you could ask, “what and where was the best thing you’ve ever tasted?” (Mine was a milk chocolate Pot de Crème at Slanted Door in San Francisco)

If you love travel you could ask “if time and money weren’t a factor, where would you most like to watch a sunset?” (I would have a dozen answers for this one including from a rooftop Greek restaurant in Santorini)

If you love movies ask, “which movie have you seen more than twice?” (For me that would be Legally Blonde!)

Got the idea? Plan now, so you’ll be ready to intentionally make the conversation fun and creative!

Wishing you love, laughter & magical kisses,

Arielle

Everyone Gets Hurt. The Happiest People Do This…

I was talking with my good friend, Evan Marc Katz, the other day. You have heard me sing his praises many times – he’s a dating coach for smart, strong, successful women – and one of the better writers in the personal growth space. Part of the reason I continue to read his work is because he is a real, hands-on coach – he has been listening to women on the phone for three hours a day for over a decade, and he has incredible insight into what makes men tick and relationships succeed.

Well, during the course of conversation, Evan and I happened upon one of the primary reasons it’s hard to get back out there after getting hurt: the tremendous loss of confidence you suffer during a break-up. Not just confidence in your ability to choose a partner and navigate a relationship, but a loss of confidence in yourself.

When we were talking, Evan gave me an analogy that really stuck with me, that came straight from Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People”

Imagine a car salesman. He’s trying to get you to buy something from him, but the way he’s doing it is having the opposite effect:

“Um, so, I know you’re probably really busy today, but maybe, I don’t know, you might want to consider buying a Toyota Camry. Sure, it’s a little bit more expensive than other cars, and yeah, the economy is down, and yeah, you can probably get something just as good that is pre-owned. But maybe you want to test drive a Camry anyway?

No? You don’t? I kind of figured you’d say that. After all, there are tons of cars that are nicer looking, get better mileage, and have better resale value.

Wait – don’t go! I mean, you can go if you think there are any other cars you’d like better, but maybe you’d still like to buy a car from me today? I mean, I don’t take it personally if you leave – okay, that’s not true. I will take it personally if you leave, because I’m really quite desperate to sell a car this month and I haven’t had anyone buy from me in a really long time, and—“

Of course, this is a caricature of the worst car salesman ever, but the point should be clear:

Why would you buy a car from a guy who doesn’t believe in his own product?
That’s right. You wouldn’t.

The question for you – and it’s a challenging one – is this:

Do you believe in your own product?

Do you think that a man would be a fool to go out with anyone else?

Do you believe that the best men would want to commit to you?

Or do you inadvertently come across a bit like the insecure car salesman?

He’s not suggesting that you’re currently blurting out all of your own flaws or openly encouraging your dates to pursue other women.

He is suggesting that your actions may indicate the same thing.

Every second you spend with a man who mistreats you, every week you spend with a man who fails to make you feel safe, heard and understood, you are demonstrating your lack of confidence.

Without speaking a word, you’re telling him you will stay in your dissatisfying relationship and that you don’t need to be treated better.

If you had confidence that you deserved more, you’d already be out the door.

So, why would a man commit to a relationship with someone who doesn’t believe in her own product? A woman who can barely summon any confidence in herself?

That’s right. He wouldn’t.

Everyone suffers a loss of confidence after a break-up. And yet, there’s something unique about love that always makes you come back for more.

The warm feeling you get when you wake up next to him on Sunday morning.

The belly laughs you share over your inside jokes.

The strength he demonstrates in making you feel better after a bad day.

The generosity he displays with each flower, dinner, and movie ticket he buys.

But the best part of being in love – in my opinion – is the least heralded one.
What people often forget about love is how wonderfully SAFE a great relationship is.

If you’ve never experienced that safety, I’m telling you, there’s nothing quite like it.

Brian and I hope to be one of those “’til death do us part” couples. We both feel that there is nothing in the world that could break us up. Because of that, disagreements are rare. Arguments are resolved instantly. Any friction is a mere blip on the radar. All because we hold our marriage sacred and view it greater than our individual needs.

I’m attracted to Brian’s inner confidence – which has nothing to do with how much money he makes, and he’s attracted to my inner confidence – my belief in my ability to create, to persevere, to grow. The safety of our relationship allows that confidence to shine and never be shaken. And, boy, does it feel great.

Think about how you would feel to have that kind of relationship.

How relaxed. How confident. How secure.

Now if you’ve never experienced this before, I’ll admit it can sound far-fetched.

If all you know from relationships is heartbreak, confusion and frustration, talking about a man who makes you feel safe probably sounds like talking about the probability of Martians landing on Earth.

I promise you. It’s not.

Martians – I mean, men who make you feel safe – are REAL.

So where are they? And how do you find them?

This is the $64,000 question. And this is the reason Evan Marc Katz wrote his book, “Believe in Love – 7 Steps to Letting Go of the Past, Embracing the Present, and Dating with Confidence.”

In it, he walks you through 7 easy, chronological steps that he has used for over a decade to help women like you overcome your fears and frustrations in love.

  1. Let Go of the Past
  2. Set Realistic Expectations
  3. Overcome Negativity
  4. Defeat Your Fear of Failure
  5. Reframe Your False Beliefs
  6. Carry Yourself With Confidence
  7. Take Action Now

It is no exaggeration to say that “Believe in Love” is the most important book I can share with you because it’s essential to your happiness and long-term well-being.

There is no falling in love if you don’t believe in love itself.

After all…

You’ve seen men come and go.

You’ve doubted your own worthiness.

You’ve watched others get happily married.

You’ve questioned your judgment more times than you can count.

You’ve gone to therapy, talked to friends, and listened to dating gurus.

You’ve taken breaks, gotten back out there, and quit once again.

“Believe in Love” is the antidote to all of that – a program, with 17 powerful exercises that will change your tune, boost your confidence, and give you the will to create the safe relationship of your dreams.

Let me know how quickly it gets your confidence back. Oh, and Evan is being nice enough to offer it to you for$50 off of the normal retail price. All you have to do is enter the coupon code “BELIEVE” at checkout.

It’s time to believe in your own product again. Once you believe, the men you are attracted to will believe as well.

Wishing you love, laughter & magical kisses,

Arielle



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...