The #1 Dating Mistake

CamelcoupleClaire and I just wrapped up our Secrets to Finding True Love online Series and it was jam-packed with enlightening and useful information on manifesting a soulmate.

For those of you dating online (or willing to finally START dating online because 2 out of 5 marriages now start online) I wanted to make sure you had this very important information from dating expert Evan Marc Katz.  Evan knows that one of the most important ways you can increase your chances of finding your soulmate online has to do with thespecific way you craft your profile.

He says the key is to “show not tell,” and to understand the words you should absolutely NEVER use when describing yourself online.

Here’s an excerpt from his “Finding ‘The One’ Online: How to Attract Quality Men and Understand Male Dating Behavior” seminar:

“Show me who you are, don’t tell me who you are. Anybody can say ‘I’m friendly. I meet people wherever I go. I’m one of the nicest people ever,’ but that’s just telling me what friendly means. You need to give me an example. ‘Lunch ladies like me. I make friends with a bartender during a layover in Dallas.’ That’s the same as I’m friendly, right?

Don’t say you’re adventurous. Tell me you bungee jumped off a 300-foot bridge in New Zealand.

A profile should only be about 200 words long. You don’t want to make it a long confessional, and I think that’s one of the things that I see most with intelligent, earnest women who are looking for love.

They write something that’s straight from their heart, and it’s passionate, and it’s spiritual, and any guy reading it, his eyes are going to roll back in his head because it’s a complete expression of who she is. It’s great if she wants to attract another woman, but she’s not speaking guy language at all.

We’re not talking about tool belts and football; it’s about appreciating that what men are attracted to is often what they don’t have themselves. They’re looking for sweetness, lightness, nurturing, fun, playfulness, sexiness.

So when I have clients who sell themselves to me by giving me their core attributes on the phone and they’ll tell me that they’re ambitious and driven and tenacious and I’m like ‘I want to hire you, but that’s not why he’s going to marry you.’
So I’m not going to say you shouldn’t be those things and you can’t still be those things at work, but if you’re defining yourself as that, if you’re going to tell me the reason he should be with you is because you ran a marathon last year, unless we’re in a drought and you need to run for water, I’m not sure why that matters to him.

We’re looking to play up her core qualities. So if she tells me family is important, we’re going to throw in a line about families. If she tells me work’s important, we’re going to throw in a line about work. If she tells me travel’s important, we’re going to throw in a line about travel.

But it’s going to be balanced. It’s not going to be a whole bunch of one thing, because everybody has read an online dating profile with the scuba diving woman, right? Or the music woman and she lists her 700 favorite bands. So usually there’s something funny at the beginning, sweet and heartfelt at the end, and it’s a really quick ride in between.”

Evan had so many helpful tips for dating-I wish I’d known about them when I was single!  If you want to hear more from Evan and the other relationship experts in the series, and get access to a just added special bonus on Tapping (something I use nearly everyday to relieve emotional turmoil), click here now.

Wishing you love, laughter & magical kisses,


P.S. This is Your Last Chance to Own The Secrets to Finding True Love at 50% Off!  Don’t wait! Special Event 50% Discount ends Oct 2nd. Learn More Here.


LOVE: Have It Your Way

The other night I was talking to friend and dating expert, Evan Marc Katz, about why some women have so much trouble with finding love. Not surprisingly, we both had the exact same point of view and it came down to one word: softness.One of the soulmate “blockers” some women have (especially busy, successful women over 40) is an unconsciousfear that when their soulmate shows up, he will suppress their freedom and take up all of their time. Especially if they grew up in a traditional home from the 1950’s, 60’s or 70’s where Dad went off to work, and Mom was a housewife catering to Dad’s needs and his wishes always came first!

Many of todays busy, single women are really enjoying their lives. Most have kids, even grandkids, and businesses, friends, adventure travel, hobbies and while they crave companionship and would love a soulmate, in the back on their mind, they have a belief that they will have to give up – a lot – to make room for someone new.

Here’s the good news: you get to choose. You can have it YOUR way!

When you are using the Law of Attraction, being clear with your intention and your soulmate wish list, you get to design your future relationship. If you want a 24/7 relationship with someone that you marry and work from home with, create that.

If you want a soulmate but would prefer to live apart, and see each other twice a week until you retire, or only get together on weekends, then focus on that lifestyle.

You are more powerful than you know, so get clear on what your heart most desires and needs in your soulmate relationship and then go out and make it happen.

You can have it your way!

Wishing you love, laughter & magical kisses,


P.S. And if you feel you have emotional bocks to love and need help with that, don’t miss this free online workshop, hosted by my dear friend, licensed psychotherapist and bestselling author Katherine Woodward Thomas, MA, MFT.

Calling in The One: How to Identify and Release Your Hidden Barriers to Love & Become Magnetic to Your Soulmate

The one word that could change everything

ipage.jpg1The other night I was talking to friend and dating expert, Evan Marc Katz, about why some women have so much trouble with finding love. Not surprisingly, we both had the exact same point of view and it came down to one word: softness.

Softness with your willingness to tear down the walls around your heart and giving up the need to be “right.”

Softness in your ability to be open to men without emitting harsh, judgmental words or thoughts. (if you are having negative thoughts, trust me, the other person can feel it on some level.)

We humans can be so hard on ourselves and others. The impulse to judge and criticize comes too easily for many of us. It’s time to soften our edges, become more loving, gentle, and accepting and learn to embrace certain truths:

1) Accepting that we don’t know what we don’t know about love and by opening and softening up to proven advice that has worked for others.

2) There is no such thing as perfection. We are all perfectly imperfect.

Research by Sandra Murray, a psychologist at the University of Buffalo, reveals that putting on the “rose colored glasses” and idealizing our partner actually leads to more happiness and satisfaction in relationship. In fact, the happiest couples focus on what’s right and not on what’s wrong. This is also known as the Pygmalion effect, the phenomenon in which the greater the expectation placed upon people, the better they perform. It’s a form of self-fulfilling prophecy. As mature adults, we get to choose our thoughts and beliefs so why not intentionally intend and expect the best out of our selves and our dates?

Today, begin to look at the places in yourself where you have hard edges and tend to judge yourself and others. Look for ways to soften and create receptivity for our collective humanness. We all want to be loved and accepted for who we really are. Knowing that we are all flawed and imperfect, we need to practice non-judgment on a moment-to-moment basis.

Manifesting a soulmate is just the first step to a lifetime of love. Learning to love, appreciate and accept our beloved (and to make sure they really feel our love and acceptance) this is the real work of Big Love.

Wishing you love, laughter & magical kisses,


Happiness. You can make it happen.

 Lately it seems that nearly everyone I know is having major life challenges. So many people are depressed, anxious, unhappy. When I was in my twenties I went through a very painful time of deep depression….I know how hard it is to pull out of that. I was seeing a shrink and on antidepressant drugs. One night, while at a big party, watching everyone seemingly having a great time, I made a decision. I decided that I would study happy people and I would do whatever it takes to become a happy person. This was the beginning of my path of personal growth.

While it didn’t happen overnight, by reading books, attending workshops, working with a nutritionist (turns out I have hypoglycemia so eating regularly is really important for my stability) and asking happy people lots of questions, I finally found my way to happiness.

We can’t always control our circumstances but we do have a lot of control over how we respond to life. When life gets tough, it helps to remember that that bad times don’t last and often the worst stuff turns into the best stuff. Getting through a difficult day requires that we try to figure out the baby steps we can take to get through the next five minutes. And get through the five minutes after that. For me, sometimes just focusing on one little thing I am grateful for is all I need to do. You can call a friend. Or walk your dog. Or pet your cat. Do something to put you into a state of gratitude and grace.

I have what I call my “toolbox” of methods to shift me from upset to happiness. It includes EFT Tapping, the Institute of Heartmath’s “heart lock-in techniques,” and the Sedona Method. All of these are easy to learn and I have found them to be very effective. (And, if you are severely depressed, please reach out for professional help.) Also, Marci Shimoff’s book, Happy For No Reason is an excellent resource.

I use at least one of these methods on a daily basis and have discovered that it really is possible to choose happiness once you know how to do it. My ultimate goal is to reach Santushta. This is a Sanskrit word which means complete unshakeable contentment, imperturbable happiness.

Wishing you love, laughter & magical kisses,


The Drug You Must Give Up to Manifest Love

My wise and brilliant friend, John Assaraf, recently wrote:

“The older I get (and hopefully wiser) I realize that some people are just happiest (or most comfortable) when they are miserable.

I know it’s an oxymoron but it’s true. As I travel the world sharing the lessons and specific strategies for achieving success, I come across so many people who prefer to be right vs change and have what they say they want.

The drug of choice today is “Hopium” where people hope for things to get better and do nothing to help themselves and the inflammation disease that many suffer from is “Excuse-itis” an inflammation of the excuse gland.

Success is about learning how to do the right things, in the right order at the right time… and then …. Just do it!”

I agree with John. I often see the same thing.

Sometimes, without consciously realizing it, we are addicted to suffering, trapped in our misery. Stuck in our story….the story that we just can’t (or don’t deserve) what we most desire.

And, it doesn’t have to be that way.

If you been living on “hopium,” or you need more inspiration and direction to manifest your heart’s biggest desire and if NOW is the right time for you to finally find true love, then don’t miss out on the most celebrated love event of the year!

I’ll be hosting along with the amazing Claire Zammit as we share everything you need to know about finding love, FOR FREE!

Register now to attend The Secrets to Finding True Love Online Event, starting Thursday, September 11th.
A taste of what you’ll discover:
  • How to identify your “love personality type” and understand how it determines who you love, as well as how you attract love to you
  • A simple, quick and effective technique for releasing past emotional trauma and blockages so you are fully available to your Soulmate
  • The secret process that turns your longing into a powerful magnetism for love
  • The do’s and don’ts of making a specific list to manifest the right person
  • The 4 most attractive qualities to men, and how you can authentically embody them.
(We will also have plenty of tips for men seeking love as well!)

To save your seat, you can register free here.
Wishing you love, laughter & magical kisses,


First dates, Food & Your Appetite for Love & Life

Dating, whether you love it or loathe it, is an indispensable part of the soulmate manifestation process. Eventually there will be a “first dinner date.”
What, and maybe more importantly “how” you order, will let him or her know if you have a healthy appetite for love and life, as well as whether or not you are high maintenance, and so much more.

On these early dates we want to let our large appetite for life, our enthusiasm for life, really shine through as much as possible. 

For those of you with gluten or other sensitivities (I fall into this category), it might be best just to order something you know is “safe” for you to eat, rather than engage in a big conversation with the server which will lead to a talk about your various ailments. This isn’t the best “first dinner date” conversation to have.

If you are vegan or vegetarian, no problem, as long as you aren’t sitting in judgment if your date orders a steak. I believe that everyone has to decide for them selves which foods best serve their body type. If you are a strident vegan, and you can’t watch anyone eat meat products, that is something to figure out BEFORE you go out on a dinner date. 

For those of you “foodies” out there…be adventurous and let your date know that you love trying new things. Foodies need to find each other!

One other thought: Judging how someone else eats, even if you believe they are harming themselves, is toxic to you not them.

What got me thinking about all of this was a blog I recently read by Katie Oldenburg at on this topic. Here’s what she thinks your first date food order says about you… you decide for yourself!

Anything With Garlic: I have no self-awareness or foresight … or I don’t like you.

Tacos: I’m impulsive and a short-term thinker.

Burger And Fries: I want something delicious because I’m hungry. It’s not glamorous and you may judge me for it, so go ahead.

Buffalo Wings: I’m adventurous and not afraid of getting down and dirty.

Pasta: I’m a romantic. There’s something seductive about a savory plate of pasta, as long as sauce isn’t dripping all over the place.

Steak: I’m dominant and powerful. Anybody who wants to slice into a big filet with a steak knife says “I’m in control” (and maybe that attitude will spill into the bedroom later on).

Chicken: I play it safe. May be perceived as boring.

Pizza: I’m down-to-earth. I’m not too uppity, but I also might not be very adventurous.

Meatloaf: I’m not here to impress you. There’s nothing impressive or sexy about meatloaf, therefore there’s nothing impressive or sexy about this date.

Quesadilla: I’m fun, easy going and playful.

Surf And Turf: I’m fancy, sort of materialistic and don’t care about money, because you’re paying.

Salmon: I like you and consider your feelings. I chose a lean piece of fish that’s not too smelly or hearty, tastes good and is classy.

Chicken Fingers: I am a child trapped in an adult’s body and am unaware that you’re probably judging me.

One last thought. When I was dating, I would generally eat something before going out to dinner, because I didn’t want anyone to see just how ravenous I can become when I get hungry and I am a super sloppy, messy eater. I would generally order something that I liked ”enough” that wouldn’t end up all over me, or them!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,


Celebrating 16 Blissful Years

This past weekend Brian and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary. Wow, does time fly! One of the assumptions I had about marriage was that the longer I knew my partner, eventually I would be a bit bored….so not true! Brian continues to be most loving and fascinating person I have ever met, and we have so much fun together!

In 1998 we had three weddings. This photo was from our “legal” wedding where we had rock star Kenny Loggins who volunteered to be our officiant and wedding singer!

I was reflecting on what it took for me to become a first-time bride at the age of 44, and thinking about all the years I was certain that I would never find “the One.”

I had such a history of bad relationships, bad choices, that even my own mother had lost hope for me.

I’ll never forget the morning I woke up, at age 43, and made the decision to figure out how to manifest a soulmate. I still get excited remembering how my mind went into overdrive thinking about all the various prayers, processes and rituals I had used to manifest a highly successful career, that I would now transform into a soulmate manifestation process.

What I didn’t know then, is that not only would I manifest to most perfect man in the world (for me), but that I would be reach a level of happiness that I never dreamed possible.

For the past ten years I have been teaching this process, to thousands of men and women around the world, and nearly every day I receive an email, phone call, letter or Facebook message from happy couples who have found each other through the Soulmate Secret process.

I never tire of reading these success stories, they just make my heart sing knowing that more people how found the love of their life.

Here’s what I now know for sure: Finding true love is possible for an one at any age, if you are willing to prepare yourself on all levels to become a magnet for love.What you may not know is that you might have some “soulmate blockers.” These are unconscious thoughts, beliefs or energies, that are getting in your way.

If you want to clear them, then I invite you to join me for a free teleseminar, that just might make all the difference in the world for you.

It happens this Thursday on August 14th – don’t miss it!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,


Make Someone As Happy As You Would Like To Be for Epic Love

Strawberry CoupleWhen manifesting a soulmate, it’s so easy to think about what we want from the relationship, focusing on our needs, hopes, wishes and desires for an epic love life.

But, what if, there were another dimension to the process that can help you speed things up? There are thoughts and energies that contribute to the process, many of which you may not be thinking about. Let me give you just one example:

Many years ago my friend Maxine desired to meet and marry her soulmate.
She decided to pray, and her prayer was very simple, but she said it with deep intention and love. This was her prayer:

“I will create my perfect partner for lifelong love in order to make someone as happy as I would like to be.”

Now this may sound hard to believe, but within one hour she met her soulmate. They have now been blissfully married for twenty happy years.

If you spend a lot of time thinking, hoping, wishing, fantasizing about life with a soulmate and you aren’t making a lot of progress, I invite you to join me for a free teleseminar, that just might make all the difference in the world for you.

It happens on August 14th – don’t miss it! Register Now

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,


How To Be The LeBron of LOVE


This morning Brian and I were talking about NBA superstar, LeBron James, and what it took for him to achieve greatness…all the dedicated hours of practice, energy, focus, and most importantly, desire.

I realized that many of the same things apply to manifesting a soulmate, without as much sweat!

Are you ready to get onto the Court of Love and finally win?

Let’s begin with DESIRE.

Ask yourself this question: Why do I desire a soulmate?

Really get in touch with how you most want to feel with him or her.

Loved? Cherished? Adored? Supported?

Blissed out in a partnership with someone who really “gets” you and loves you warts and all?

Take a little time each day to really feel what it feels like to experience this level of love (and use your imagination!).

For those of you who are really BUSY, it’s important to accept that finding love requires you to invest some time. This includes times to do the manifestation steps, the feelingizations, etc. And, this also includes making time to date and going on dates.

So often I hear: “I’ll make time to date when I meet someone.”


That isn’t going to work.

You need to start scheduling time into your calendar now. Nature abhors a vacuum. Create the time in your calendar today to be filled up by dates.

Manifesting love also has a monetary cost involved, an investment. Whether it’s for joining online dating sites, updating your wardrobe, therapy or coaching, create a budget and be prepared to INVEST in your love life.

Last week I watched a TV interview with a 70+ woman who invested $2,000 with a matchmaker, and is now happily married to her new soulmate. The host asked her: “That’s a lot of money…was it worth it?”

“Of course,” she said while glowing and kissing her new guy!

If you spend a lot of time thinking, hoping, wishing, fantasizing about life with a soulmate and you aren’t making a lot of progress, I invite you to join me for my upcoming Soulmate Secret 7 Week Online Course. This is the only time this year this course will be offered. I will take you by the hand, and walk you through the steps in an easy and fun process.

This course goes way beyond my book and includes new processes, new feelingizations, and much more. Plus you will be part of a community of other dedicated love seekers that will support you in your process.

If you are serious about fulfilling your heart’s desire for love and youare willing to make the investment of time, money and energy, sign up NOW for the free teleseminar that happens on August 14th!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,


Manifesting A Man who LOVES Women

When creating your soulmate wish list of the heart traits and qualities you most want your beloved to possess, one item to keep in mind is this:

A man, who knows how to love a woman.

My experience has been that men, who have a great relationship with their own mother, tend to have skills in this area.

Be sure to think this part through as you continue to manifest the soulmate of your dreams.

Seventeen years ago, when I wrote up my soulmate wish list, this was a key item for me and I even added that my future mother-in-law would be someone that I would enjoy as a friend and family member.

When it comes to mother-in-laws’, I hit the jackpot.

Peggy XmasPeggy Hilliard is a dream come true.

From the moment we met she welcomed me into her family. As I was getting to know Brian, and soon his two older brothers, it was clear that she had reared them to love and respect women….she raised three gentlemen.

A deeply loving, caring and super friendly woman, Peggy is someone you just want to spend time with.

Curious, open and thoughtful, Peggy is a true giver. She loves people and people love her. When you spend time with Peggy you are filled up with her love, warmth and laughter.

As many of you know, Peggy manifested her second soulmate at the age of 80 and spent several years with John before he passed away a few years ago. Now at 88, Peggy, unfortunately has cancer and will soon be making her transition to the other side…where I am certain she will be reunited with both of her soulmates and her many, many friends and family.

True to her Buddha-like nature, she is grateful for her long, happy and fulfilled life. It’s so hard to imagine that I won’t be able to simply pick up the phone and have one of our nice long chats with her.

She will be greatly missed by all of us.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,


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