Your task is not to seek for love,
but merely to seek and find
all the barriers within yourself
that you have built against it.
-Rumi

Since The Soulmate Secret was officially released on January 5th, I have given nearly sixty TV, radio and print interviews. By far, the question that I am asked most frequently is this: How do I let go of the anger (or sadness, or disappointment) that I still feel from my last relationship?

Having experienced all of those feelings myself, I realize how can be to let go and forgive – yet it’s a step that can’t be missed if you’re really committed to magnetizing a new relationship into your life. A heart that is burdened with old hurts, disappointments and resentments is simply not open enough to allow love to enter. In fact, your unprocessed or unhealed emotional wounds may be sending the Universe a mixed message. One part of you is a giant YES to being in an intimate relationship, while your wounded heart is unconsciously saying, “No, I am afraid of being hurt again.” By releasing any hurt or resentment you’re still harboring toward your ex, you send a clear signal to the Universe that you are ready, willing and able to merge with your soulmate right now.

While this kind of inner healing is a process that occurs over time, here are three things that you can begin to do today:

1) Get out an egg timer and set it for five minutes. Now spend five entire minutes giving your full attention to the negative feelings you hold toward your ex. If you feel sad, allow yourself to sob; if you feel rage, find a private place where you can fully and safely express this rage. In the past, I personally enjoyed beating pillows with a plastic bat while screaming every nasty thing I ever wanted to say to that person. I also found that sitting in the car with the windows up and the music blasting was another safe place to vent. If rage, disgust or resentment is the predominant feeling you hold toward your ex, you may also find fulfillment in watching this soothing meditation: www.youtube.com

Notice if you feel some relief as a result of indulging your feelings rather than trying to manage or suppress them.

2) Over the next seven days, make a commitment to quietly perform three or more acts of random kindness to the people in your life, and notice how good it feels to give some of your beautiful love to others. It can be something simple like making a phone call to lift the spirits of someone who doesn’t get a lot of calls. You could decide to give more hugs to your children, or to go out of your way to compliment a co-worker for something he or she does well. In other words, find ways to express more love with the people who are already in your life. You’ll immediately feel more lovable.

3) Lastly, forgive yourself. Find some time this week to relax in the bath or to just sit quietly with the intention of being compassionate and gentle with yourself. If you like, you can place your hand over your heart and repeat this simple mantra: I completely and totally forgive myself for the mistakes I have made in love. I bless myself and gratefully accept this healing of my heart. And so it is.

Remember, letting go of the past is a process, but it begins by setting the intention to move on. You deserve it!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle Ford

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